+27 (0) 60 656 1305
Term Archives
Before we start, let's get an idea of how accurately you currently assess yourself with this quiz: Self-Assurance and Presence Self-assurance is made up of self-confidence and self-esteem. All are similar, but with crucial differences. You can be very confident in your skills and in certain areas of your life, while still suffering from low self-worth. Self-Esteem “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” Maxwell Maltz Self-esteem is about how you feel about yourself and value your worth. It helps establish how you think, feel, and act. People with self-esteem also do not feel the need to accumulate accolades or material possessions. They are content with knowing their value and their worth outside of their self-confidence. Surrounding yourself with people who are extremely positive helps build your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Your self-esteem gives you the push you need to learn more, seek new opportunities and network with others. Want to increase your self-esteem? Here are things to do daily: Improve your self-talk. Start your day with positive affirmations and learn to refocus your thoughts to something constructive. Surround yourself with positive people. Don’t let negative people control the way you think about your life or your business. Remember, every negative person has a problem for every solution. Move on! Start a journal. Start a journal to share your thoughts and challenges. Also be sure to focus on writing about ways that you have been succeeding. When you are having a down day, go back to those entries and repeat the same habits of that day. Get over your perfectionism. Perfectionism stops us from moving forward and completing projects. It paralyzes us because we are so afraid of not being able to live up to a high standard. Instead, understand that there is no such thing as perfect and learn to know when something is good enough. Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way. I like to use this example a lot when I talk about setting goals and it’s using a GPS. Say you’re driving and you take a wrong turn. Your GPS doesn’t say “you’re a loser, go home.” It re-calculates and gets you back on track. When you take a wrong turn in life or in your business, re-calculate. Love others. When you spend time being more kind and loving to others, you start to learn to treat yourself a little kinder too. Be encouraging to others, do a good deed or even just be a great listener to someone. Build your self-confidence. When you begin building your confidence in multiple areas you start to see yourself as a more successful person. Becoming confident in your skills allows you to continue to see your value as a person and build your self-worth. How open are you to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development? Candid Feedback To be emotionally intelligent requires an accurate understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, powerful reflective practice, and learning from experience. But how do you avoid being like the snooze-inducing lecturer mentioned earlier? By being open to feedback! Ten points if you have heard Elaine saying, The best way to find out where your perception and reality diverge is to ask. Your reflection has probably already picked up on indirect feedback (facial expressions, behaviours etc), so you are prepared for what you will hear. Get into a habit of regularly seeking candid feedback from those around you. Positive Actions When Receiving Feedback Feedback comes in all shapes and sizes but how can we ensure that we get the most from it? Actively listen – don’t think about what you’re going to say in reply, don’t interrupt, argue, or defend yourself. Do take notice of the non-verbal communication and what is not being said. Clarify – ask for clarification if you don’t understand. Thank the person for providing feedback. Decide if and how the feedback applies to you. You always have a choice. Not all feedback is valid, so you need to critically analyse it and decide whether or not you are going to act on it. Avoid bringing in emotions of good vs bad, positive vs negative. To get the most out of feedback, you need to be prepared to receive it. A common obstacle is that we too often view feedback as negative, criticism, or even a personal attack. Rather, consider embracing feedback as time to talk about yourself! See it as an opportunity for everything to be about you- in other words, view feedback from a new perspective… New Perspectives “In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” - Bertrand Russell Part of the human condition since the beginning of time is that most of us assign special importance to ourselves. However, doing so prevents us from viewing things from different perspectives which can be detrimental to both our personal and professional lives. The main barrier to developing new perspectives isn’t intellectual as we have access to more information than ever. It is emotional because we don’t want to challenge our personal beliefs, we don’t want to introduce uncertainty into our lives, and we definitely do not want the heartbreak of acknowledging that we could be absolutely wrong about something we stood for. Aim to be informed, not just opinionated. Lack of perspective keeps us biased, limits our options, and hinders our ability to make good decisions. It is essential to work on being open to new perspectives. In fact, the right perspective can make the impossible possible. Self-Development “The only thing that is constant is change.” - Heraclitus Fact: If you are stationary, you are actually going backwards as the world is ever evolving. This is why it is so important to prioritise self-development. Staying as you once were is a sure recipe for disaster because everything and everybody around you is morphing. Kaizen is a Japanese concept of making small improvements daily which leads to huge life changes for the better. Kai means change, zen means good. Often used in corporate environments, it is an excellent practice to apply in your personal life too. As with most things, a slow and steady approach is better than trying to make sweeping changes occasionally. Don’t get lackadaisical as you age. Commit now to a lifetime of continuous improvement and learning… Continuous Learning Self-development and personal growth go hand in hand with lifelong learning. In the same way as food nourishes your body, so continued learning nourishes your mind. “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo The most successful people in the world make learning a top priority and are obsessed with absorbing more and more knowledge – either to help them both master their craft and grow personally. Continuous learning is a vital aspect of acquiring critical thinking skills and discovering new perspectives when relating to people from different cultures. LinkedIn shares seven career-related reasons why continuous learning is important: “1. Remain relevant Don’t be left behind. Ensure you remain relevant to your industry by keeping up to date with trends and adapting your skill set. To function effectively amongst this rapidly changing world of technology, you need to learn new things to remain valuable. Prepare for the unexpected Lifelong learning will help you adapt to unexpected changes, for example, losing your job and having to depend on new skills to find work. By continuing to learn, you’ll more easily step out of your comfort zone and take on new job opportunities. Boost you profile When you’re always learning, you’ll keep improving and grow in your career and start to receive recommendations from colleagues and managers. The chances are that you’ll switch jobs multiple times throughout your life and you need to learn new skills to adapt accordingly. Competence leads to confidence Learning new things gives us a feeling of accomplishment, which in turn boosts our confidence in our own capabilities. Also, you’ll feel more ready to take on challenges and explore new business ventures. Sparks new ideas Acquiring new skills will unveil new opportunities and help you find innovative solutions to problems. This could earn you more money. Change your perspective Continuous learning opens your mind and changes your attitude by building on what you already know. The more you learn, the better you’ll get at seeing more sides of the same situation, helping you understand more deeply. Pay it forward Continuous learning isn’t just about you. Lifelong learning helps develop your leadership skills which then translates into fostering lifelong learning in other individuals, by encouraging them to pursue further education.” With information at our fingertips, there is no excuse to stop learning. But lifelong It’s not uncommon for us to compare ourselves with others around us - and to feel superior or inferior towards them based on their strengths and their weaknesses. This is a dangerous path, as each of us is individual and we all operate differently according to our personalities. Are you wanting to experience (fewer negative and) more positive situations in your life? If so, improving your emotional intelligence will increase your influence in this regard because you will have the confidence of knowing precisely what you are capable of, and an inner awareness of your limitations. Strengths Your strengths are characteristics you can leverage on, things you can use to push yourself further. Weaknesses Your weaknesses are not your downfall, but areas you need to improve on. These are characteristics you need to develop and build. What an Awareness of Your Strengths and Weaknesses Is Not Knowing your limitations does not mean that it is okay for you to stay in your comfort zone, afraid of outside influence or change. What an Awareness of Your Strengths and Weaknesses Is “Comfort is the enemy of progress.” The Greatest Showman As an emotionally intelligent Dux, you have a better understanding of yourself and how you function through being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Acknowledging your weaknesses gives you better insight about what may be holding you back, allowing you to find ways to work around them and not let your weaknesses keep you back. Knowing your strengths keeps you ahead and helps you to grow more. You can aim higher and achieve much more when you know what you excel at. You will be comfortable with new opportunities and therefore actively place yourself in situations where you can add value and benefit for yourself others. Can You Realistically List Your Strengths and Weaknesses? In order to leverage your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, you first need to know them. Depending on your level of self-assessment, you may find it: Hard to admit to weaknesses and limits, especially if you are in a competitive and fast-moving environment. This can result in problem areas which are completely invisible to you, known as blind spots which lead to setting unrealistic goals, having unrealistic ideas about how quickly or easily tasks can be completed, the need to be right all the time, risk of burnout. Blind spots can make you reluctant to accepting feedback which makes it that much harder to address the problem. Challenging to think of even a single thing that you like about yourself if you have poor self-esteem. This can result in blind spots which lead to a cycle of anxiety, missed opportunities, lack of boundaries. Blind spots can make you resistant to feedback which adds to the negative impact. Quick and easy to do. To help you get started, complete the quiz below: You make decisions every day of your life – from what to wear to whether or not to succumb to the call of FIFA. With so many options to choose from, you may get overwhelmed with indecisiveness and regret over making the “wrong” decisions. When it comes to emotional intelligence, part of building your self-confidence is to have faith in your decision-making abilities. Let’s start with a quiz to determine the level of your current decision-making skills. Develop a guiding awareness of your values and goals. Learn how to reign in the negative voice in your head which may be adversely affecting your productivity. Discover the links between your feelings and what you think, do, and say. Become aware of what emotions you are feeling and why. Tune In... To You
10 mins
At the end of this lesson, you should be able to identify your personal interactive styles; and create opportunities to connect with others and recognise different styles of communication. Self Awareness One of the themes that you will notice running through the Dux programme is the theme of "Self Awareness". Be prepared! Dux will be posing many more questions to you to help you discover your best true self. Know Thyself for Better Communication Having a clear perception of your strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions will help you to be a better communicator. Being self-aware helps you to understand other people, how they regard you, your attitude, and your responses to them in the moment. Knowing who you are allows you to communicate better, listen better, and create more impactful interactions. Styles of Communication We all have communication styles in which we communicate. Read through the descriptions below to identify your predominant communication style: The Listeners Listeners are considerate and sympathetic. They are focused on people and interpersonal relationships. Listeners are wonderful team players, since they are cooperative and easy to work with. Listeners are great listeners (duh!) and are always willing to help others. However, their desire to keep everyone happy may sometimes interfere with getting the job done. Listeners dislike conflict, and will try to mollify the people involved and smooth over the issues. Change can upset relationships as well as work routine. Listeners can become upset by this, and so need a while to adjust to change. Listeners believe there is more than one method to achieve the same results and demand a voice in decisions that affect them. They place a high premium on relationships and more often seek security rather than taking risks. Listeners can be slow decision makers and don't delegate well. The Socialisers Socialisers are expressive, enthusiastic, excitement driven, and spirited. They value relationships, acceptance, and personal prestige. These people are animated and expressive. They'll often speak quickly, use gestures, and may get easily side-tracked onto another story altogether. They may be too talkative. Socialisers are great motivators because of their enthusiasm. They like public speaking and attention. Socialisers usually focus on the bigger picture, and may sometimes neglect the details or the order of things. They have problems following through with an idea. Socialisers are easily bored by routine, and work best in a group setting. Socialisers often make decisions based on intuition. They can be impulsive and make snap decisions. Socialisers are optimistic and persuasive. Socialisers are not afraid of conflict, and enjoy spirited discussions that involve a difference of opinion. Socialisers love change and challenges. They are creative and have a good sense of humour. The Thinkers Thinkers are technical, analytical, and systematic. They value logic, thoroughness, and precision. Thinkers tend to focus on facts and technical details while communicating. Thinkers have a methodical way of approaching problems and tasks, and work well independently. Thinkers are detail-oriented, accurate. They can be slow decision makers and may be indecisive. They may sometimes become overwhelmed by the details and lose track of the big picture. Thinkers are uncomfortable with conflict, and feel that facts should take precedence over emotion. Thinkers need time to adjust to change. They enjoy predictability and rules, and are low risk takers. Thinkers are conservative in their style and can be rigid and overly serious. The Directors Directors are bold and direct. They focus on the big picture, and tend to be competitive, aggressive, and ambitious. Directors get right to the point, and generally use as few words as possible. Directors may come across as forceful and intimidating to others. They are pragmatic and assertive in their approach. Directors are concerned with achieving tasks and goals, and often forget about the needs of the people carrying out the work. Directors like to be involved in several projects at once. Directors are not detail-oriented, and can under-estimate how long it would take to accomplish a task. Directors are unafraid of conflict, and may seem overly stubborn in defending their ideas. They are excellent problem solvers. Directors thrive on change, are risk takers, competitive and competent in their work. Directors can be arrogant and domineering and generally are not good listeners. For a dynamic list of additional communication information, Next Answer in the introspective quiz below: